


I Spy With My Eye...

by catswithsocks



Category: Homestuck
Genre: (im so good at tagging), Minor Swearing, POV: Roxy Lalonde, Spies, but if i did miss any potential triggers please tell me!, derse versus prospit, slow to update (sorry), spy AU, there aren't any other triggers (i hope)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-25 01:03:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6173911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catswithsocks/pseuds/catswithsocks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roxy is a spy for Derse Espionage. When she isnt thwarting world domination plans, she is dealing with team politics and a new recruit! But Roxy will power through, because she's Roxy, and nothing will bring her down!</p><p>(used to be titled "spying about")</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> y'all i came up with this during study hall, so sorry if the first chapter is a little rushed! they were my first thoughts and i needed to get them down. but they are refined and more coherent now!

“Alpha One, report?”

  
Roxy shrugged, then realized that Rose couldn’t actually see her through the comms. “Uh, I’m doing great! Fine weather and all, it’s just absolutely gorgeous!” There was an upset huff on the other line. That wasn’t what Rose wanted, but Roxy already knew that. “ _Ugh_ , it’s all fine Rose. Suspect is heading right where we need him and the operatives are moving into position.”

“Don’t use my real name, Alpha! We don't know how secure this line actually is, and being killed would be rather inconvenient for me.” Roxy rolled her eyes. This comm line was perfectly fine. Roxy should know, since she coded it herself.

“Relax, a few name slip-ups won't be the end of the world.” There was silence, and then a sigh on the other end of the line. Roxy smiled to herself, just a little, before heading into position herself.

She went over the plan in her head. A man would walk into the cafe, carrying a briefcase. Another agent, carrying a similar briefcase, would “bump” into him. They would then exchange briefcases and go their own separate ways.

  
This couldn't be more cliche.

  
Roxy settled herself down and began to type up her paperwork. Might as well do something useful while she’s waiting. She felt like a spy, considering she _was_ a secret agent for Derse Espionage.

There was a jingling bell as a man walked in. He was short, and dark skinned. He wore a black suit, black shoes, black everything. And he was carrying a briefcase. The same exact briefcase that they needed.

Roxy discreetly commed over to another agent. “Beta 3, suspect is in position."

  
Another man stood up, making his way to leave the cafe. He wore sunglasses and a dark wig, to cover his shock of platinum hair. He almost made a beeline to the Man in Black, and bumped into him. The man in black dropped his briefcase, and Dave dropped his.

  
“Sorry dude, that was on me. Are you ok? You hurt or anything, did Ispill your coffee? Hot coffee burns like a motherfucker and I would hate for that to happen to a man of your... _stature._ ”

Man in Black (they really need to.come up with a name for him. Maybe Jack, because it rhymed with black), just muttered something about “watching your damn steps” and picked up “his” suitcase. Dave walked out of the cafe, and headed toward the rendezvous point.

Mission accomplished.

Roxy snapped her laptop shut. She almost finished her report, but she’ll do it later. She walked out of the cafe, the jingling bells behind her.

* * *

 

The rendezvous point wasn't really a...point, per say. It was more like a hang-out space, very inconspicuous place to go meet up and review. So basically, it was a library.

Roxy loved the old library. It was always so quiet and serene, and had many a great book about magic and wizards. She spotted Dave, black wig ditched, his hair practically glowing in the dark library.

  
“Yo Rox, what’s up?”

She sat herself down next to Dave before replying. “Nothing much, dog. Did you get the right book?” Book was code word for the briefcase, since saying briefcase in a public space would kind of blow their cover.

“Yeah, I got the right book. The story is great, and you should totally read it, even though it’s more of Rose’s thing.” He got the right briefcase, Roxy and Rose will go over its contents.

“Great!” Roxy smiled brightly, and stood up. Dave followed suit.

* * *

Back at HQ. Almost home, but not quite. Like yeah, Roxy and the gang lived here, but it wasn't a homey place. Roxy usually said it needs more plants, but she doesn't really mean it.

Dirk and Rose were at the conference table already, deep in discussion. Dave announced himself loudly, enough to draw their attention and elicit at least three glares.

“Did you all turn off your comms?" Dirk asked. "If you don’t we will receive feedback, and remember what happened last time we got feedback?”

“Dirk, I thought we would never mention that incident again!” Roxy cried. She had left her comm on, so when all the big tech stuff came out, they started malfunctioning and smoking.

  
“You made that decision. I simply nodded and hummed.”

“Hummed in AGREEMENT.”

“Can we please get to the matter at hand?” Roses voice of reason was at full power. Roxy shot a glare at Dirk, before sitting down at the opposite end of the table, which wasn't that far because the table was pretty small.

  
Rose started. “The mission was a success, yes?” Roxy nodded, and Rose puffed up a little. Rose orchestrated the operations, so having an op go well was a success to her.

“I already went through the briefcase,” Dave began. “Only briefly, but it was just a bunch of boring junk. Nothing of my expertise, but I did spy some stuff that Roxy and Rose would probably understand.” That would mean there was stuff about hacking, for Roxy.

Each of the four had a special skillset. Dirk was robotics, Dave was weapons, Roxy was about codes and programming, and Rose....Well Roxy didn't exactly know what Rose did. She guessed that Rose did everything else.

“Ok, great! If you all could please finish your reports by the end of the week, that would be perfect, before the director gets on my back about it. Meeting adjourned.”

Roxy stood to leave, but Dirk stopped her.

“Uh Roxy, if you could stay a minute?” Dirk looked nervous, which was unnerving, because the dude hardly showed emotion. He motioned Rose and Dave out, and they left, albeit rather slowly.

“Ok Dirk, what's up?”

  
“You know Prospit Agency, right?”

  
Roxy nodded. She knew them, and kind of didn't like them. Prospit Agency was a rival espionage business. They sabotaged Derse, and Derse sabotaged them right back. Roxy wasn’t sure what had exactly happened between the two agencies, as they used to work together, but the past is the past, and you can't change it.

“Yeah, so I need to tell you something. We’ve been ahead Prospit awhile now, but only by a little bit, but they’re catching up. They’ve been trying to tap into our lines, Roxy.”

  
Roxy shrugged. She was one of the best hackers she knew, and she knew a lot of hackers. Her programming skills will surely evade the attempts made at Prospit. “There’s no need to worry Dirk! They suck over there, and it’ll be YEARS before they get into our system!” She smiled reassuringly, but Dirk just frowned.

“The agency doesn't think that. So, they hired a new man. He’s up and coming, and we tried to recruit him before, but he evaded our attempts. We only got him after one of our guys ‘convinced him’.”

  
Roxy shrugged “No prob then! I’ll be happy to show him the ropes!”

  
Dirk looked at her questioningly “Are you sure about that?”

  
Roxy looked at him, more serious than before “If you think just because another guy who is good at hacking will make me frown, you got another thing coming.”

Dirk visibly relaxed, and stopped radiating waves of tension.

“Besides, he might just be the boyfriend for you!” She stuck out her tongue and him, and skipped out the room, leaving Dirk to be alone.


	2. happenstance (idk that seemed like a good chapter title don't judge me)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxy meets Sollux for the first time, and shows him around HQ. Also, tension arise as Sollux gets in a fight with Dave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im soooo sorry for taking such a long time! but im glad to be finally posting today!  
> so this is more of a setting up chapter! i tried to write more in roxy's voice as well, but it's a lil hard to nail down.

Roxy was put in charge of the new recruit. Of course, because he had a similar skillset to Roxy. The next day, the new recruit (a male), was brought into the lobby of Derse Espionage. He looked eurasian, but Roxy wasn’t sure. He was very tall. Like, so tall he could fight a giraffe. And extremely gangly. Good lord, someone please feed him before he passes out on the floor. What has he been eating all his life, breadcrumbs? And he wore the dumbest glasses, one lense red, and one lense blue.

He was also whining loudly, and was insulting everyone. Roxy hoped that she wouldn’t have to put up with his nonsense the whole time he was here. She took a deep breath,, and headed over the new recruit.

“Hey there!” She plastered on a big smile, and waved a little at the sour-puss.

He glared at her. “Who the hell are you?”

“I’m Roxy! Since I’ve been assigned to you, I figured ‘hey, why not show this guy around?’ Bein’ new and all isn’t all that fun, and I could help you find some cool places to hang!”

She fell into a more serious tone. “So, what’s your name? It’d be kinda awkward for us to, y’know, talk and stuff if I don’t even know your name. And, I already told you mine, so...”

The new recruit looked pensive for a moment. Was he really not gonna give her his name? Gee, talk about being a jerk. Roxy knew that yeah, being new sucks, and given his situation, it would double suck. She almost pitied him, because other agents would know about him and his background, and wouldn’t really want to socialize with him. He would just kind of be floating around HQ until the agency let him go.

But _still._

“Sollux.”

Roxy’s head snapped up, caught in her inner monologue. “Huh?”  

“It’s Sollux.” He had a really bad lisp, so it kind of sounded like “Thollux” instead.

“Oh, ok! That’s a pretty cool name. So, do you want to get started on the tour, or do you just want to stay in the lobby?” She smiled, and elbowed Sollux in the ribs. “It is a pretty great lobby, after all.”

Sollux glared at Roxy. “No, I think I’d rather run around the place like a bumbling idiot instead.”

Geez, could he chill? Roxy was getting annoyed by his attitude, and would probably snap at him later on. “Actually, I don’t think you would like to bumble around HQ, so just follow me, and I’ll point out the important stuff."

Sollux looked slightly taken back. Good. Roxy maybe be nice, but she has a low tolerance of BS. Roxy started to walk backwards, and motioned Sollux to come forward. “I promise I don’t bite unless bitten, buddy. Now, come along! I’ve been itching to show somebody all my cool spots!”

* * *

 

 Roxy walked down a long and expansive hallway. “Ok, so think of HQ like a big ol’ tree! This...” she stopped and gesticulated about the hallway, “is the grand hallway, and is like the trunk of a tree! There are smaller hallways that branch off this hallway, like tree branches! And those tree branches have leaves. Those leaves are rooms!” She winked at Sollux.”This place is pretty big. Do my tree metaphors make sense?”

Sollux nodded. “They’re stupid, but yeah, they make sense.”

Roxy glared at him, and hit him lightly on the arm. “Shut up, my tree metaphors are great.” Roxy went down down a branching corridor. “This is the tech branch! I figured since your specialty is coding and other computery stuff, we’ll explore this part today, to get you familiar.”

She gestured toward a large, open room that was near the beginning of the hallway. “That’s the break room. So like, if you’re sick of seeing your room, you can come here and chill. Or, if you need a break or whatever, come here and chill. Just wanna talk to people? Come here-”

“And chill. I got it” Sollux dead-panned. Roxy looked up at him (gadzooks, he was tall), but he was smiling. Maybe being all deadpan and sarcastic is Sollux’s sense of humor, like Dirk’s. Roxy preferred puns and jokes, but she could adapt and try to humor Sollux.

“Ok, here’s where it gets tricky. There’s a bunch of rooms and doors, and most of them are labeled, but it’s still easy to get lost. Just remember: Right is even numbers, and Left is odd numbers. Your room is number 22, so it would be on the right.”

Sollux nodded, apparently locking the information into his head. Roxy vaguely wondered what is was like in his head, before returning to her tour.

“So, this is pretty much it! It’s like this in all the other wings too, so it makes for less confusion. If you got any questions, just...talk to me, I guess!”

Sollux looked pensive. “I actually do have a question.”

“Shoot.”

“Where do I go if I don’t want to chill?”

Roxy laughed and smacked Sollux on the arm.

* * *

Roxy was finishing her report from her latest mission in her room when she heard yelling. She pinched the bridge of her nose to ward off the oncoming headache, and left. She did not have the energy to deal with this.

It was Sollux. Of course. And Dave. Double-of-course.

Dave had a big brown stain on his shirt, and looked pretty pissed.

“Hey man, you gotta watch where you’re fucking going. You can't just be looking up at the damn ceilings, because sometimes there are people walking around with hot as shit drinks.”

“Yeah, sure, blame me for you being stupid and not usimg a damn lid for your drink. Sue me, because that shirt looked REAL fucking nice!”

“Sure as hell it was. Of course, you wouldn’t know what a cool shirt looked like, considering you’re walking around in that get-up.”

Roxy started yelling “HEY! You two, break it up!” She marched over, and put herself in between the two boys. Dave and Sollux both glared at each other over Roxy’s five foot two head. Ugh, why couldn’t she be taller?

“I’m glad you both met each other, but can we keep the lovers spats to a minimum please? Dave, what are you even doing over in the tech wing?”

Dave stopped shooting daggers at Sollux to answer Roxy “I came over to get some coffee, since the weapons wing has absolute shit caffeine. Figured that ‘hey, maybe I’ll get something to drink and not spill anything on myself’ Of course, my dreams were shattered into a million pieces.”

“Ok, well, can you go back to your wing? Or to the break room even? I’m sorry the coffee is so shit in your wing, but you can just BREW your own pot or somethin’, instead of being a lazy oaf.”

“Yeah, fine, let me just get my shirt off.” Dave shucked off his shirt, and wrapped it around his neck. Oh no, not this routine again. Dave loved to make pissy new recruits uncomfortable, and Sollux was definitely being a pissy new recruit.

Sollux averted his eyes from Dave. “Dude, put your shirt back on. You’re gonna blind thomeone with your luminescent body. Oh wait, I’m already blind from looking at your ugly face.”

“Sollux, shut up. You’re not making it any better, ok? Just, I dunno, go to your room or something,” Roxy tried her best to be intimidating, and she guessed it worked, because Sollux scoffed and stomped off in the general direction of his room. Roxy watched him go, and sighed. She (almost) felt bad for him, making such a bad impression on his first day. She resolved to talk to him later.

She turned toward Dave and pushed her finger into his chest. “You have some explainin’ to do mister. Now, go to your room buddy, before I lay the smackdown on you for pullin’ that stunt.”

Dave threw his hands up into the air. “Hey, not my fault. He was asking for it, and I delivered. I couldn’t refuse him, the request was in his eyes or something!”

Roxy glared. “He’s new, Dave! Cut him slack, ok? Or I’ll have to, I dunno, punch you or something!”

Dave started laughing.

“I’m serious Dave! I will punch you if you give Sollux any more crap!” Roxy struggled to not start smiling. God, couldn’t he take this seriously?

Roxy hit him in the arm and turned him around in the direction of the break room. “Go!”

“Fine, fine, I’m going!” When Dave left, Roxy fell into a more somber mood. Sollux and Dave fighting wasn’t a good sign. She’d have to figure out how to resolve things between them, or she’d be in for hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yeah, it's gettin crazy up here. sorry sollux didn't speak all that much. i'll try to be wittier next time.  
> also, i now have an outline for this story! woo-hoo me. this is probably gonna be a long-ass thing with like multiple parts and stuff (sorrynotsorry). anyways, the next chapter will be up in a month or so (thats like really fast for me lmao).
> 
> (also did yall see that fight? haha 10/10 insults)
> 
> edit: i realize that i didn't put in sollux's lisp. intially, i left his speech alone because i wanted it to be readable! however, i am going to add in his lisping s to keep it accurate as possible.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope y'all enjoyed this! sorry the first chapter is so short! i plan to make them lengthier (or not lmao)  
> i probably got some grammer mistakes, but whatever, its cool i can fix them later!


End file.
